Not to be mean or biased about action stars, but I never thought that Bruce Lee was quotable. I was reading an article in the New Yorker about parkour, and one of the guys interviewed cited inspiration from Bruce Lee.
"There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. A man must constantly exceed his level."
It doesn't sound that fantastically cool, but in the context of the article and in light of some advice I received from Paul the Sage, it makes a lot of sense.
What these guys believe in is that we can't remain stagnant -- we must challenge ourselves. Yes, it's a platitude. But to see people taking such advice to the physical realm makes this idea extra amazing. Parkour, if you didn't read the article, is what that man at the start of Casino Royale was doing: free running through a concrete jungle, leaping off the sides of walls, cranes, running over obstacles. Here's a video of David Belle, founder of parkour.
Parkour is like martial arts -- you practise in little steps and maybe one day you'll finally get to use it. But the discipline and courage it takes to practice parkour..ah...the folly of youth. Parkour is a sport only for the young. It's probably too late for me.
In any case, Paul does not do parkour. No, I was refering to what he said to me one day when he caught me reading stacks of papers.
P: So what did you learn?
me: not much
P: You have to learn something everyday, otherwise it's not worth doing anything.
Maybe I didn't capture it right.
I have this strange feeling that I could probably fill this blog with Paul stories. So much for funny ducks.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
the PBJ difference
As a sort of follow up to the entry on organic eggs, here's a site explaining why we should all have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. 16 PBJs=1 chicken!
Sunday, March 18, 2007
my latest muse
I think Karl Lagerfeld is a fascinating man -- erratic, whimiscal, in denial, in the current, charismatic.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Sticking to what's right
I sometimes think that I would lead a better life if I weren't the one making all the decisions. Choose exercise, a healthy diet, good work ethics, real friends, nice guys. It's so much easier to enforce such decisions if all you can do is carry them out. Instead we make excuses.
I chose a pack of organic eggs last week at the grocery store. I didn't really care if they were healthier coz the chickens were fed a vegetarian diet, or whatever they did to make them give healthier eggs with omega-3 oils. I just wanted a cage-free bird, a bird that didn't have its feet trimmed so that it would fit better in a cage. Organic eggs cost twice as much as regular eggs, and they don't taste any different. But an extra $1.50 doesn't really make a difference either does it? It all depends on how you choose to think of that $1.50 -- twice the usual price, or just $1.50? I told myself it was just $1.50, and bought the pack. My true view of things though is that they are expensive eggs. But will I continue buying organic eggs? Yes, I think I will. I don't consume eggs very much, so it's not much of a cost difference. But that leads to the next questions: how about organic milk? Or vegetables? Or meat?
I guess a little research is in order: I just read an article on organic milk and I don't think it makes a difference to me. I do think that it will make a difference when I have children that I don't want to feed growth hormones to. I might head over to Whole Foods for vegetables when it's warmer. I knew someone whose family owned a farm. She buys organic coz it's better for the farmers -- no pesticides and such. I recall some people saying that organic things taste better, but I doubt I'll be able to tell the difference.
I have sorta made a decision, but will I stick to it?
I chose a pack of organic eggs last week at the grocery store. I didn't really care if they were healthier coz the chickens were fed a vegetarian diet, or whatever they did to make them give healthier eggs with omega-3 oils. I just wanted a cage-free bird, a bird that didn't have its feet trimmed so that it would fit better in a cage. Organic eggs cost twice as much as regular eggs, and they don't taste any different. But an extra $1.50 doesn't really make a difference either does it? It all depends on how you choose to think of that $1.50 -- twice the usual price, or just $1.50? I told myself it was just $1.50, and bought the pack. My true view of things though is that they are expensive eggs. But will I continue buying organic eggs? Yes, I think I will. I don't consume eggs very much, so it's not much of a cost difference. But that leads to the next questions: how about organic milk? Or vegetables? Or meat?
I guess a little research is in order: I just read an article on organic milk and I don't think it makes a difference to me. I do think that it will make a difference when I have children that I don't want to feed growth hormones to. I might head over to Whole Foods for vegetables when it's warmer. I knew someone whose family owned a farm. She buys organic coz it's better for the farmers -- no pesticides and such. I recall some people saying that organic things taste better, but I doubt I'll be able to tell the difference.
I have sorta made a decision, but will I stick to it?
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Can I really make a difference?
I was playing this game online last night, and it was rather addictive. It's about managing the cost of living of a family of 5 from Haiti. You want to keep them healthy, give them education and a way of of the cycle of poverty. Noble causes that are exactly up my alley. I can't seem to find a solution. They get sick so easily (perhaps it's the poor working conditions), healthcare is so expensive, and they keep starving. I've killed the parents twice, and I've completed the game once as of this morning. Even then, it wasn't ideal. Sure they are surviving, but things aren't great. If not by some stroke of luck (no hurricanes, free reading programs, bumper crop and such), they probably would have died. Family fortunes fluctuate a lot: one year they are saving lots, and the next year they are in the hole. By the time I was done with the 4 years I had to care for them, I wished I could have continued the game to make everyone finish their education, and see what happens to the stall they just bought. Then again, it is only just a game.
I'm reminded of how I wanted to do international aid work before I started college. Then I got sidetracked into science and kind of decided that there were better and more devoted people out there doing good. I didn't really think about it much till over a year ago when I saw The Constant Gardener, and realized that I may just be on the other side of where I want to be. Aid workers versus big pharma. I wasn't exactly with the big pharma, but I am in the same part of the world, in the same town. I don't believe that they are doing bad things, but I sure don't think that they are making things easy. Looking from my side, I do realize that discovering new medicines and all that manufacturing stuff are expensive endeavors. Yet I feel like we aren't serving everyone as well as we can.
Not that I am in a position to do much international aid work right now. I do know that I could be doing more for my community in general. I should. It'll be good for me. I don't know if I am going to make a difference. I don't know if it's enough to know that I seem to be doing something, goodness knows how effective or useful I may be. Perhaps I should ignore these doubts. There is no point in examining things too closely.
That book on happiness I'm reading? There is a story inside about someone who was shot by an arrow. Instead of examining the arrow and seeing the details of every splint, the more important thing is to get treatment and remove the arrow. The details and introspection don't matter. But it's so hard to keep that in mind.
I'm reminded of how I wanted to do international aid work before I started college. Then I got sidetracked into science and kind of decided that there were better and more devoted people out there doing good. I didn't really think about it much till over a year ago when I saw The Constant Gardener, and realized that I may just be on the other side of where I want to be. Aid workers versus big pharma. I wasn't exactly with the big pharma, but I am in the same part of the world, in the same town. I don't believe that they are doing bad things, but I sure don't think that they are making things easy. Looking from my side, I do realize that discovering new medicines and all that manufacturing stuff are expensive endeavors. Yet I feel like we aren't serving everyone as well as we can.
Not that I am in a position to do much international aid work right now. I do know that I could be doing more for my community in general. I should. It'll be good for me. I don't know if I am going to make a difference. I don't know if it's enough to know that I seem to be doing something, goodness knows how effective or useful I may be. Perhaps I should ignore these doubts. There is no point in examining things too closely.
That book on happiness I'm reading? There is a story inside about someone who was shot by an arrow. Instead of examining the arrow and seeing the details of every splint, the more important thing is to get treatment and remove the arrow. The details and introspection don't matter. But it's so hard to keep that in mind.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
The paradox
Sometimes you're alone and you feel lonely. Because of conventional wisdom, you know the right thing to do is to call up your friends and go out. And you do that and often enough it works.
Sometimes you're perfectly happy with yourself, and you're alone. And you join a group of people and hang out with them and you feel terribly alone, during, after, at some point, sometimes.
Your friends are that group of people. Why do they make you feel lonely?
People who read self-help books are people who have taken the first step in the right direction, admiting that they have a problem. I am currently reading a book on happiness. Am I lacking something in my life? I've been told that I either look really happy, or I look really sad. Laugh because you'll cry when you stop smiling. How extreme.
No, I'm not in the darkest of abysses. But gloomy thoughts permeate me always. Is my life half-empty or half-full?
Sometimes you're perfectly happy with yourself, and you're alone. And you join a group of people and hang out with them and you feel terribly alone, during, after, at some point, sometimes.
Your friends are that group of people. Why do they make you feel lonely?
People who read self-help books are people who have taken the first step in the right direction, admiting that they have a problem. I am currently reading a book on happiness. Am I lacking something in my life? I've been told that I either look really happy, or I look really sad. Laugh because you'll cry when you stop smiling. How extreme.
No, I'm not in the darkest of abysses. But gloomy thoughts permeate me always. Is my life half-empty or half-full?
About words and sounds
I would like to see Chasing Amy again. I saw that movie years ago and I remember that I didn't like it. But I would like to see it again.
I first heard of the movie when driving with friends on a dark sky observation trip. One of the songs from the soundtrack, Kiss the Rain, was playing on the car stereo, and it had the most heartfelt love confession I've ever heard, complete with pouring rain and slamming car doors. Pardon me for being female. In any case, my curiosity was piqued and I wanted to know what the movie was about. Amy said that we could watch it some time, and the guys joked about her wanting to see it coz it was Chasing Amy. We somehow ended up concluding that it wouldn't have worked as well if my name was in the title. We did end up seeing the movie -- a messed up love story about a guy and a lesbian that didn't work out. It was sad, and confusing.
I saw Big Daddy last night and it's an okay film. It was playing on tv, and I didn't have much going on. Then I heard the voice of the girl playing Layla, Adam Sandler's love interest, and I was intrigued -- who's that girl? I suspected that it was the same girl from Chasing Amy, except I couldn't remember her face. But her voice was unique, special, and very alluring. I wish I had a voice like that. Thought about her voice all night, and decided that I had to watch Chasing Amy again.
Words and sounds are all very powerful, but I usually remember scenes from movies visually or emotionally. The few exceptions are Chasing Amy, Mulholland Drive, and Chungking Express. Mulholland Drive is a mess of visuals in my head, but Llorando plays clearly. Chungking Express is unique in that I remember both sounds and visuals -- the "I like pineapple" scene, and California Dreaming. I should write about Chungking Express someday. And you should see it someday if you haven't already done so.
I first heard of the movie when driving with friends on a dark sky observation trip. One of the songs from the soundtrack, Kiss the Rain, was playing on the car stereo, and it had the most heartfelt love confession I've ever heard, complete with pouring rain and slamming car doors. Pardon me for being female. In any case, my curiosity was piqued and I wanted to know what the movie was about. Amy said that we could watch it some time, and the guys joked about her wanting to see it coz it was Chasing Amy. We somehow ended up concluding that it wouldn't have worked as well if my name was in the title. We did end up seeing the movie -- a messed up love story about a guy and a lesbian that didn't work out. It was sad, and confusing.
I saw Big Daddy last night and it's an okay film. It was playing on tv, and I didn't have much going on. Then I heard the voice of the girl playing Layla, Adam Sandler's love interest, and I was intrigued -- who's that girl? I suspected that it was the same girl from Chasing Amy, except I couldn't remember her face. But her voice was unique, special, and very alluring. I wish I had a voice like that. Thought about her voice all night, and decided that I had to watch Chasing Amy again.
Words and sounds are all very powerful, but I usually remember scenes from movies visually or emotionally. The few exceptions are Chasing Amy, Mulholland Drive, and Chungking Express. Mulholland Drive is a mess of visuals in my head, but Llorando plays clearly. Chungking Express is unique in that I remember both sounds and visuals -- the "I like pineapple" scene, and California Dreaming. I should write about Chungking Express someday. And you should see it someday if you haven't already done so.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Carpe diem, so they say
Ever wondered why you've never been able to "seize the day" despite having watched Dead Poets Society about half a dozen times? Well, tonight, I found out why. Instead of watching DPS, try Zorba the Greek. Watch it once, and never again.
Zorba gives the good man, Basil, some good advice. Says Zorba the wise, "God gave you hands...so that you can grab." "Grab what?" you say? Precisely. You aren't desperate enough. You don't know what you want. How then can you grab?
It's not hard knowing what you want when you need it. Fast forward to somewhere near the end of Zorba the Greek. See those poor Cretans? They know what they want.
Youth is wasted on the young, precisely because they have youth. You'll never be younger than now. So go out, and find something to grab. No, don't seize the day. The day is already yours. Find something real. And forget that silly bit of Latin.
Zorba gives the good man, Basil, some good advice. Says Zorba the wise, "God gave you hands...so that you can grab." "Grab what?" you say? Precisely. You aren't desperate enough. You don't know what you want. How then can you grab?
It's not hard knowing what you want when you need it. Fast forward to somewhere near the end of Zorba the Greek. See those poor Cretans? They know what they want.
Youth is wasted on the young, precisely because they have youth. You'll never be younger than now. So go out, and find something to grab. No, don't seize the day. The day is already yours. Find something real. And forget that silly bit of Latin.
Monday, February 05, 2007
a new word!
I learnt a cool new word today.
Anatidaephobia: The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.
Anatidaephobia: The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
thoughts about friendship
I was thinking about fatherhood recently. Yes, fatherhood. Not parenthood. But this post is not about parenting as the title already tells you. I am thinking about friendship tonight.
My question is who makes a better friend? The person who respects your views, or the person who actively looks out for you? That is how I am stating my question for now. Perhaps it requires some restatement, but for now it works.
Both people do care for you of course, but they show their concern in different ways. Would you prefer the girl friend who tells you that she doesn't like your boyfriend, or the girl friend who doesn't say much and still says nothing when you break up? Perhaps it is hard to decide.
Would you prefer the friend who tells you that you're heading down the wrong path, or the friend whose opinion you can sense but who doesn't say a thing? I think it's hard to decide. What if you are not headed down the wrong path? What if something good did come out of it?
I never figured out how to deal with such situations, but if you know me, I'm the one who says nothing. Most of the time, I hate to jinx anything in case it does work out. I trust my friends to take care of themselves as best as they can. I hope my trust is not misplaced.
My question is who makes a better friend? The person who respects your views, or the person who actively looks out for you? That is how I am stating my question for now. Perhaps it requires some restatement, but for now it works.
Both people do care for you of course, but they show their concern in different ways. Would you prefer the girl friend who tells you that she doesn't like your boyfriend, or the girl friend who doesn't say much and still says nothing when you break up? Perhaps it is hard to decide.
Would you prefer the friend who tells you that you're heading down the wrong path, or the friend whose opinion you can sense but who doesn't say a thing? I think it's hard to decide. What if you are not headed down the wrong path? What if something good did come out of it?
I never figured out how to deal with such situations, but if you know me, I'm the one who says nothing. Most of the time, I hate to jinx anything in case it does work out. I trust my friends to take care of themselves as best as they can. I hope my trust is not misplaced.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Smells like Teen Spirit
I finally saw the MTV for Smells Like Teen Spirit today. I've always liked the song, but I heard it years after it came out and I've never been an MTV person. And I discovered another thing that makes me smile. Not the attractive face of Kurt Cobain (it's okay), but the very slow-moving janitor swaying to his music. Whoever casted that old man, that was genius!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
I'm sorry
I was hanging around the exam room today in case the kids had any questions, and there she was: smart, blonde, black-framed glasses and pink ear plugs, writing.
I don't mean to use stereotypes. It's rather unfair to be blonde and have people take you less seriously. It's unfair when anyone has to go the extra mile to prove anything. But I couldn't help it when I noticed the bright pink ear plugs in her ears. An excellent exam strategy.
I looked back down to my copy of the New Yorker, and smiled.
I don't mean to use stereotypes. It's rather unfair to be blonde and have people take you less seriously. It's unfair when anyone has to go the extra mile to prove anything. But I couldn't help it when I noticed the bright pink ear plugs in her ears. An excellent exam strategy.
I looked back down to my copy of the New Yorker, and smiled.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Filing a Link
I can't help but notice that a certain article has remained in the top 10 most frequently e-mailed on the New York Times. You know which one I'm talking about -- Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying. It was first published Dec 17, 2006. 3 weeks is a really long time for an article to stay on that list. I am tempted to read more into why such an article stays on the list for so long but it would be inherently misleading -- news about events and happenings have a limited amount of time before they turn stale. There is little chance of those articles staying on for a long time.
There are also lists for the most blogged and the most searched items on the site. The most blogged articles this morning are recent news, mostly relating to the president. The most searched list is a mix of current and perennial topics, ranging from Iraq to college. Saddam's name comes up twice on this list.
It's all well and good to have most popular lists, but do they tell us anything? Before this morning when I committed my thoughts to paper (and in the process thought about it more), I was inclined to make something about the most popular e-mailed article list. I usually read the articles featured on that list first, because they are likely to be the more interesting articles. I was tempted to read more into what people find important and interesting to them, until I finally saw the most blogged list. Why don't the lists coincide at all?
I've seen at least one opinion about talking about politics, how it's becoming harder to talk about it with family and friends. I guess by extension, you wouldn't want to e-mail such an article. And since news is news, one also assumes that people have access to the same news whatever newspaper they read. Editorials, fashion and health articles don't usually show up simultaneously on all major newspapers.
Yay. I've spent my morning pondering the most popular lists on the New York Times. Time to get out and do some actual thinking that matters.
There are also lists for the most blogged and the most searched items on the site. The most blogged articles this morning are recent news, mostly relating to the president. The most searched list is a mix of current and perennial topics, ranging from Iraq to college. Saddam's name comes up twice on this list.
It's all well and good to have most popular lists, but do they tell us anything? Before this morning when I committed my thoughts to paper (and in the process thought about it more), I was inclined to make something about the most popular e-mailed article list. I usually read the articles featured on that list first, because they are likely to be the more interesting articles. I was tempted to read more into what people find important and interesting to them, until I finally saw the most blogged list. Why don't the lists coincide at all?
I've seen at least one opinion about talking about politics, how it's becoming harder to talk about it with family and friends. I guess by extension, you wouldn't want to e-mail such an article. And since news is news, one also assumes that people have access to the same news whatever newspaper they read. Editorials, fashion and health articles don't usually show up simultaneously on all major newspapers.
Yay. I've spent my morning pondering the most popular lists on the New York Times. Time to get out and do some actual thinking that matters.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
growing up
I've known him for quite a few years, but it was only today that I noticed how alive his eyes were. Eyes that are seeing the world, and eagerly drinking it all up. His posture was relaxed, and his facial features were composed. But his eyes, those eyes were alert and thinking. He's lost the naivete. Or perhaps I finally see him for who he is.
"It's not about how smart you are. You'll meet someone who is half as smart, but way more cunning."
"So you've become more cunning?"
"No, you just learn to watch out."
And I could picture him watching and waiting. He won't attack you because the ones who do move out of incompetence. He will do what his job requires of him. After all, it's just business. Watching and waiting.
"It's not about how smart you are. You'll meet someone who is half as smart, but way more cunning."
"So you've become more cunning?"
"No, you just learn to watch out."
And I could picture him watching and waiting. He won't attack you because the ones who do move out of incompetence. He will do what his job requires of him. After all, it's just business. Watching and waiting.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
The Unicorn Code
“If you go to Yves Saint Laurent or Prada or Tod’s or Chanel or Hermès this season, there are three different versions of the same bag: mini, regular and oversize.”
I've been trying to describe a unicorn for a while but I can't really find anything with google. I mean, what is a unicorn supposed to symobolize? What are the search terms that I need to use? Or does a unicorn not symbolize anything? Then one morning reading about how bad oversized bags are for you, I found a somewhat-description of a unicorn. Good enough for now. A fourth word to describe the unicorn, as implied in the context of the article, is "elusive". To me, that might be the most important word.
Why am I currently fascinated with unicorns? Someone once mentioned a unicorn for reasons unknown, and I promptly forgot about it. Months later, I was trying to find a birthday present, and I stumbled across a toy unicorn. It was a rather violent toy -- a unicorn impaling a human. The avenging unicorn. You get to choose the human and even the horn. I considered getting it for my friend, but didn't figure that he would like it. I ended up giving him a button that said "Unicorns are pretty sweet". I was also considering a "unicorns are real dammit" magnet from David and Goliath (they seem to have rather cool stuff), but figured that it was too in-your-face annoying. And while I was trying to buy a unicorn, I wondered about what it actually symbolized. I have no idea still.
Anyway, if you didn't click on the link above, there is a unicorn code. It's pretty simple:
1. Unicorns never lie.
2. Unicorns always lend a helping hand.
3. Unicorns are loyal.
4. Unicorns can keep a secret.
5. Unicorns don't use drugs.
I quite like it. I feel like I may know a unicorn. I want to know a unicorn. I want to be a unicorn. I'm currently fascinated by unicorns.
She said the last word as if she were describing seeing a unicorn — magical, beautiful, altogether perfect.
I've been trying to describe a unicorn for a while but I can't really find anything with google. I mean, what is a unicorn supposed to symobolize? What are the search terms that I need to use? Or does a unicorn not symbolize anything? Then one morning reading about how bad oversized bags are for you, I found a somewhat-description of a unicorn. Good enough for now. A fourth word to describe the unicorn, as implied in the context of the article, is "elusive". To me, that might be the most important word.
Why am I currently fascinated with unicorns? Someone once mentioned a unicorn for reasons unknown, and I promptly forgot about it. Months later, I was trying to find a birthday present, and I stumbled across a toy unicorn. It was a rather violent toy -- a unicorn impaling a human. The avenging unicorn. You get to choose the human and even the horn. I considered getting it for my friend, but didn't figure that he would like it. I ended up giving him a button that said "Unicorns are pretty sweet". I was also considering a "unicorns are real dammit" magnet from David and Goliath (they seem to have rather cool stuff), but figured that it was too in-your-face annoying. And while I was trying to buy a unicorn, I wondered about what it actually symbolized. I have no idea still.
Anyway, if you didn't click on the link above, there is a unicorn code. It's pretty simple:
1. Unicorns never lie.
2. Unicorns always lend a helping hand.
3. Unicorns are loyal.
4. Unicorns can keep a secret.
5. Unicorns don't use drugs.
I quite like it. I feel like I may know a unicorn. I want to know a unicorn. I want to be a unicorn. I'm currently fascinated by unicorns.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Finding true love online
I know of about two online dating sites: match.com and eharmony.com. For the longest time, I was under the impression that eharmony was a more serious site because they had a detailed questionnaire that you have to fill in before they generate matches based on some complicated algorithm that takes into account the 29 or so aspects of your personality. I have, on several occasions, wondered what that questionnaire was like.
A couple of days ago, a friend told me about this friend of his who was deemed "undatable" by eharmony's quiz. Wow, that sounds pretty serious. I also learnt that one can take the quiz and sign up for a trial subscription (limit of 10 matches) on eharmony -- in other words, I can take that very informative quiz for free if I wanted to. eharmony's advertising campaign (it's scientifically proven online dating!) worked: I found myself spending about an hour, answering 12-15 pages of questions (I almost gave up), and getting several matches. But I jump ahead of myself. For those who have never tried online dating sites, I thought it would be interesting to give a few more details so that you can find out what you're missing out on. My roommate suggests that I try match.com, meet up with a couple of guys and write a comparative article on these dating sites and the results. It sounds like a little more trouble than I'm willing to go through. But I've done the first part of the research, and I present you here with the preliminary findings.
The first thing that struck me was that eharmony only allows you to be a "man seeking a woman" or a "woman seeking a man". No queers. I wonder if you can sue them for discrimination. I was next disappointed by 3 pages of words that may describe me, ranked on a scale of 1 through 7 (1 being not at all, and 7 being very). I should have kept better notes about what followed, but I didn't. There were a couple (or maybe 3) pages on activities that I may find interesting (ranked again from 1 through 7), some short questions on what I'm most passionate about, and who has been a big influence on me, and what I can't live without and am thankful for, what my strengths are and what my friends think of me. Of course, there needs to be a few pages on what I think is important in a partner (again ranked on a scale of 1 through 7), what I am willing to accept for religion, drinking habits, smoking, ethnicity, whether I want children, my height, age and all that mundane things (no, they didn't ask for my weight). And finally, there is the page where I say that I accept their terms and conditions and they give me my personality profile and find me some matches.
First thing about the personality profile -- they don't give you a report in 20 parts. No. Instead, you get a report that describes you on 5 different levels: agreeableness, openness, emotional stability, conscientiousness and extraversion. I basically found out that I am who I thought I was (what a relief!) -- rather moderate in all aspects except for extraversion (I'm reserved in case you didn't know). From those 12 pages of question and answer, I got out about as much information as I would have if I had taken some random online quizzes -- since you are described by 5 criteria, you probably need to take 5 quizzes. Of course, those short questions I had to answer were displayed on my profile page for my matches to read and find out more about me. The next thing to do was to see my matches to see how well the matching algorithm worked.
I came up with 6 matches -- 3 asian and 3 white guys. It seemed to me that the asian guys were very brief with their short answers (about 1-2 lines) while the white guys wrote short paragraphs that were more descriptive. If you're a guy reading my blog and you ever try these dating sites out, my advice to you is that more is better. Write freely, and make sure you write well. While everyone is going to sound like a SNAG (is this term still used these days?), at least you won't get thrown aside immediately based on the fact that there are other guys who seem more open and interesting. Enough said.
In general, my matches were people that I wouldn't mind meeting, although the asian guys weren't as interesting because they wrote very little, and very concisely. Perhaps if you had a different criteria, you would have a different opinion. There was an obvious mismatch, and he must have realized it to because he closed communication with me the next morning. I was not impressed with spelling mistakes (typos are fine, like putting in an extra letter somewhere) -- one guy claimed to have been a playwright, except he spelt "playwrite". I might have considered clicking the "start comunicating" button, except that spelling mistake put me off. I pretty much ended my eharmony session on that note.
This morning, I woke up to find 7 e-mails from eharmony.com: 6 telling me that there was a guy they wanted me to meet, and 1 telling me that a certain Mr T wanted to start communicating with me. I actually used a real e-mail address with eharmony.com because you communicate via server e-mails, and I didn't want to bother with checking a fake e-mail account.
There are 2 options for comunicating on eharmony: guided communication, or open communication. The guided comunication process involves 2 rounds of mutual Q&A's, and sending a list of Must-Haves and Can't-Stands in between, before moving on to open communication. The fast track version is jumping straight to open communication. Mr T chose the guided communication track.
As far as the 1st round of Q&A's go, it seems that he selects 4 closed-ended questions from a list and sends them to me. If none of the above answers work, I can fill in a 4th blank answer. I think that the 2nd round of Q&A's probably involve selecting from a list of open-ended questions. It's quite like a beauty pageant, with different rounds and chances for elimination. So far, I like the guided communication track.
Since I wasn't aware of the option to close communication immediately last night, I now have to deal with my new cyber friend. I started using eharmony.com to see my personality profile (disappointing), and to see how it was possible for a guy to be "undatable" (seriously, ouch). Should I actually communicate with Mr T? There are several more layers of screening to go, and I could eliminate him, or he could eliminate me along the way. But what if we actually make it through the 2nd round of Q&A? I wasn't planning on looking for anyone, and it seems that people who sign up with eharmony.com are looking for more than just dating partners. Maybe I am over thinking this. It would be fun to try it out. I don't know.
So far, the online dating experience has been rather interesting -- I do think that it is a good way to meet a specific group of people with the same goals. In fact, it is efficient. I might actually try online dating someday, maybe someday soon if I decide to carry on communicating with Mr T (I'm using the word "communicate" a lot because it's eharmony jargon). But I've used up my 10 matches limit on the trial subscription, and that's about as far as I want to take it for now. Now what should I do with Mr T?
Addedum: It turns out that I can't start communicating unless I subscribe. I guess that's it with Mr T then. I closed communication, and I would like to tell him the truth, except I can't actually say more than check a box. I checked the box that said "Other" for reasons I'm closing communication since I can't write my own reply.
A couple of days ago, a friend told me about this friend of his who was deemed "undatable" by eharmony's quiz. Wow, that sounds pretty serious. I also learnt that one can take the quiz and sign up for a trial subscription (limit of 10 matches) on eharmony -- in other words, I can take that very informative quiz for free if I wanted to. eharmony's advertising campaign (it's scientifically proven online dating!) worked: I found myself spending about an hour, answering 12-15 pages of questions (I almost gave up), and getting several matches. But I jump ahead of myself. For those who have never tried online dating sites, I thought it would be interesting to give a few more details so that you can find out what you're missing out on. My roommate suggests that I try match.com, meet up with a couple of guys and write a comparative article on these dating sites and the results. It sounds like a little more trouble than I'm willing to go through. But I've done the first part of the research, and I present you here with the preliminary findings.
The first thing that struck me was that eharmony only allows you to be a "man seeking a woman" or a "woman seeking a man". No queers. I wonder if you can sue them for discrimination. I was next disappointed by 3 pages of words that may describe me, ranked on a scale of 1 through 7 (1 being not at all, and 7 being very). I should have kept better notes about what followed, but I didn't. There were a couple (or maybe 3) pages on activities that I may find interesting (ranked again from 1 through 7), some short questions on what I'm most passionate about, and who has been a big influence on me, and what I can't live without and am thankful for, what my strengths are and what my friends think of me. Of course, there needs to be a few pages on what I think is important in a partner (again ranked on a scale of 1 through 7), what I am willing to accept for religion, drinking habits, smoking, ethnicity, whether I want children, my height, age and all that mundane things (no, they didn't ask for my weight). And finally, there is the page where I say that I accept their terms and conditions and they give me my personality profile and find me some matches.
First thing about the personality profile -- they don't give you a report in 20 parts. No. Instead, you get a report that describes you on 5 different levels: agreeableness, openness, emotional stability, conscientiousness and extraversion. I basically found out that I am who I thought I was (what a relief!) -- rather moderate in all aspects except for extraversion (I'm reserved in case you didn't know). From those 12 pages of question and answer, I got out about as much information as I would have if I had taken some random online quizzes -- since you are described by 5 criteria, you probably need to take 5 quizzes. Of course, those short questions I had to answer were displayed on my profile page for my matches to read and find out more about me. The next thing to do was to see my matches to see how well the matching algorithm worked.
I came up with 6 matches -- 3 asian and 3 white guys. It seemed to me that the asian guys were very brief with their short answers (about 1-2 lines) while the white guys wrote short paragraphs that were more descriptive. If you're a guy reading my blog and you ever try these dating sites out, my advice to you is that more is better. Write freely, and make sure you write well. While everyone is going to sound like a SNAG (is this term still used these days?), at least you won't get thrown aside immediately based on the fact that there are other guys who seem more open and interesting. Enough said.
In general, my matches were people that I wouldn't mind meeting, although the asian guys weren't as interesting because they wrote very little, and very concisely. Perhaps if you had a different criteria, you would have a different opinion. There was an obvious mismatch, and he must have realized it to because he closed communication with me the next morning. I was not impressed with spelling mistakes (typos are fine, like putting in an extra letter somewhere) -- one guy claimed to have been a playwright, except he spelt "playwrite". I might have considered clicking the "start comunicating" button, except that spelling mistake put me off. I pretty much ended my eharmony session on that note.
This morning, I woke up to find 7 e-mails from eharmony.com: 6 telling me that there was a guy they wanted me to meet, and 1 telling me that a certain Mr T wanted to start communicating with me. I actually used a real e-mail address with eharmony.com because you communicate via server e-mails, and I didn't want to bother with checking a fake e-mail account.
There are 2 options for comunicating on eharmony: guided communication, or open communication. The guided comunication process involves 2 rounds of mutual Q&A's, and sending a list of Must-Haves and Can't-Stands in between, before moving on to open communication. The fast track version is jumping straight to open communication. Mr T chose the guided communication track.
As far as the 1st round of Q&A's go, it seems that he selects 4 closed-ended questions from a list and sends them to me. If none of the above answers work, I can fill in a 4th blank answer. I think that the 2nd round of Q&A's probably involve selecting from a list of open-ended questions. It's quite like a beauty pageant, with different rounds and chances for elimination. So far, I like the guided communication track.
Since I wasn't aware of the option to close communication immediately last night, I now have to deal with my new cyber friend. I started using eharmony.com to see my personality profile (disappointing), and to see how it was possible for a guy to be "undatable" (seriously, ouch). Should I actually communicate with Mr T? There are several more layers of screening to go, and I could eliminate him, or he could eliminate me along the way. But what if we actually make it through the 2nd round of Q&A? I wasn't planning on looking for anyone, and it seems that people who sign up with eharmony.com are looking for more than just dating partners. Maybe I am over thinking this. It would be fun to try it out. I don't know.
So far, the online dating experience has been rather interesting -- I do think that it is a good way to meet a specific group of people with the same goals. In fact, it is efficient. I might actually try online dating someday, maybe someday soon if I decide to carry on communicating with Mr T (I'm using the word "communicate" a lot because it's eharmony jargon). But I've used up my 10 matches limit on the trial subscription, and that's about as far as I want to take it for now. Now what should I do with Mr T?
Addedum: It turns out that I can't start communicating unless I subscribe. I guess that's it with Mr T then. I closed communication, and I would like to tell him the truth, except I can't actually say more than check a box. I checked the box that said "Other" for reasons I'm closing communication since I can't write my own reply.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
on completeness
It's funny how you can intuitively know when it's complete. "It" here refers to my room, but I could mean this in a more general way. The last piece falls in place, and you feel that whatever-it-is-we-may-be-talking-about is whole. I finally bought myself a chair yesterday, and my room is complete.
I've been resisting getting a chair for a while because I don't like chairs with wheels, and I don't like the sterile look of those office chairs that people usually get for their desks. So the last time I went shopping, I bought a white footstool to use as a stool. It was a little short, and I hardly sit at my desk as a result. Yesterday, I happened to find myself in Ikea again, and I was thinking of getting a chair but I changed my mind after seeing what was available. I couldn't get anything the first time, and things haven't changed so much in 5 months.
*pause* Well, you know it's untrue. A lot has changed in the past 5 months, and Ikea has changed a little.
Anyway, back to the story. We were getting ready to check out when there and then, I saw this red wooden chair, and I thought to check it out. I decided to get it even though I thought it wasn't quite right. I was going to run back to look for a cushion just in case, but there in the bin of red cushions right beside the aisle was one lone cream-colored cushion. And they all come together.
I finally assembled the chair today, and it strangely completes my room. I never thought of a desk chair as a crucial component of a bedroom, but it does have its role. I am now writing to you in my mostly-white room, sitting on the cream cushion on the red-stained chair, at my completely white and plain desk with a white iBook. I think it makes a lovely picture. I hope this is when other things start coming together for me as well.
One can never plan; things just happen. Does it really mean that we shouldn't bother to plan? It's not quite the koan about worrying -- if there is a solution, why worry? If there is no solution, what good does worrying do?
Water rushes into the heating pipes. Where there is space, it will flow.
I've been resisting getting a chair for a while because I don't like chairs with wheels, and I don't like the sterile look of those office chairs that people usually get for their desks. So the last time I went shopping, I bought a white footstool to use as a stool. It was a little short, and I hardly sit at my desk as a result. Yesterday, I happened to find myself in Ikea again, and I was thinking of getting a chair but I changed my mind after seeing what was available. I couldn't get anything the first time, and things haven't changed so much in 5 months.
*pause* Well, you know it's untrue. A lot has changed in the past 5 months, and Ikea has changed a little.
Anyway, back to the story. We were getting ready to check out when there and then, I saw this red wooden chair, and I thought to check it out. I decided to get it even though I thought it wasn't quite right. I was going to run back to look for a cushion just in case, but there in the bin of red cushions right beside the aisle was one lone cream-colored cushion. And they all come together.
I finally assembled the chair today, and it strangely completes my room. I never thought of a desk chair as a crucial component of a bedroom, but it does have its role. I am now writing to you in my mostly-white room, sitting on the cream cushion on the red-stained chair, at my completely white and plain desk with a white iBook. I think it makes a lovely picture. I hope this is when other things start coming together for me as well.
One can never plan; things just happen. Does it really mean that we shouldn't bother to plan? It's not quite the koan about worrying -- if there is a solution, why worry? If there is no solution, what good does worrying do?
Water rushes into the heating pipes. Where there is space, it will flow.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Chasing Cars
I don't really like how I keep making references to pop culture in my entries. It makes my writing style so predictable, but that's what I like though, linking all the things around me up so that they look like one huge idea. It's true though, I think we are all one. One. I had my One Theory many years ago, and I haven't thought of it much. But it's not to say that I've forgotten it. It just seems so obvious, that we have a lot in common, all of us people, living things. Somehow, we just focus on the differences. It's for the same reason why we wonder why we are 99.99% similar to most animals on this planet, and we are obsessed with how that 0.01% difference translates into such a huge difference in body structure and brain functions. I agree that it is quite alarming how something so small becomes something so important. But it doesn't change the fact that we are built from a very similar blueprint.
We heard this song in class the other day, about how everything was really the same thing in biology. I think that song was about cell signaling and gene regulation. It went by the name of "Little Phosphatases" or something. How true and how insightful. Yes, I'm a biologist. I mostly catalogue things, and realize that they are all the same. But that minute difference is the punchline of every paper that I will write. Something was slightly different. But of course! If it were all exactly the same, then it's the exact same thing.
I'm not making too much sense. But it's fine. I get into such a mood when I'm reading something by Murakami. We're just killing time until the next big thing happens. I don't know what the next big thing is, but it's really not the best way to live, thinking that this moment is being killed so that I can get to the next. No wonder they say that youth is wasted on the young. Who's they? I don't know. But I think I am one of them now.
Chasing cars, since I shouldn't make obscure references without explaining them, is the title of a song by Snow Patrol. The line I'm thinking of goes something like this "Let's waste time, chasing cars in our head." The rest is self explanatory.
Pardon the recent lack of humor. I blame the sunny skies of the approaching winter.
We heard this song in class the other day, about how everything was really the same thing in biology. I think that song was about cell signaling and gene regulation. It went by the name of "Little Phosphatases" or something. How true and how insightful. Yes, I'm a biologist. I mostly catalogue things, and realize that they are all the same. But that minute difference is the punchline of every paper that I will write. Something was slightly different. But of course! If it were all exactly the same, then it's the exact same thing.
I'm not making too much sense. But it's fine. I get into such a mood when I'm reading something by Murakami. We're just killing time until the next big thing happens. I don't know what the next big thing is, but it's really not the best way to live, thinking that this moment is being killed so that I can get to the next. No wonder they say that youth is wasted on the young. Who's they? I don't know. But I think I am one of them now.
Chasing cars, since I shouldn't make obscure references without explaining them, is the title of a song by Snow Patrol. The line I'm thinking of goes something like this "Let's waste time, chasing cars in our head." The rest is self explanatory.
Pardon the recent lack of humor. I blame the sunny skies of the approaching winter.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
My Man of the Year
Have the words stopped flowing? Have my ideas all dried up? Not quite, but I am tired. Ocassionally, I feel sad. Sometimes I feel happy. Perhaps it is time for a break. It is all very well to dream of escaping, to say "Anywhere but here", but it is not enough. I feel that it is important to say what you want. Unfortunately, it means that you have to know what you want. What do I want?
I wonder where he is right now, the guy who left his suitcase with me. He said that he'll be sure to pick it up if and when he returns. I haven't heard a peep from him, and I am tempted to call him up. But I am afraid that I am imposing myself on him, like I've done so many times. He said that he may take the time off and travel and work a little in some place other than here. Every so often when I feel lost and want to escape, I think of him and wonder what he is doing, and wonder what if it had been me instead. But he is not me, and he may not even remember who I am. I am still here, and I cannot escape.
For the few seconds he was around, he made a difference. At the end of each year, I like to look back and ask myself who the most important person I met was. It's still a little early, but I think I've named my Man of the Year.
I wonder where he is right now, the guy who left his suitcase with me. He said that he'll be sure to pick it up if and when he returns. I haven't heard a peep from him, and I am tempted to call him up. But I am afraid that I am imposing myself on him, like I've done so many times. He said that he may take the time off and travel and work a little in some place other than here. Every so often when I feel lost and want to escape, I think of him and wonder what he is doing, and wonder what if it had been me instead. But he is not me, and he may not even remember who I am. I am still here, and I cannot escape.
For the few seconds he was around, he made a difference. At the end of each year, I like to look back and ask myself who the most important person I met was. It's still a little early, but I think I've named my Man of the Year.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Sleep
What will you make of it if I told you that the best thing that's happened to me recently is that I managed to sleep 8 hours straight? Yes, I'm slightly insomniac these days. There is unfortunately nothing romantic about it. Thankfully I'm not worrying about it.
I wonder if it has anything to do with getting older. An older person explained how he didn't need as much sleep as he aged when we marvelled at how he seemed to always be working. I have a friend who ocassionally suffers from insomnia. She thinks that deep down inside, something is bothering me. While I am bothered by a few things recently, I doubt that they are keeping me up 4 days out of a week. I could of course be totally wrong about this. Perhaps I am truly disturbed by recent events.
It is tragic that I have to think about sleep these days. Clearly, it's not something one should think about. One could appreciate being able to fall asleep and waking up refreshed, but when you can't actually sleep well, good sleep becomes something akin to a gift, a miracle. Something beautiful, surreal, not totally unattainable but rare.
Intrigued by the title (and other things), I watched the Science of Sleep recently. It's a beautiful movie, best watched by the silly romantic who is incapable of living normally. Because I identify with the childish and adorable lead, I thought the movie was touching and poignant. A more pragmatic person thinks that the lead is crazy and needs to be locked up. If only I could solve my problems in my dreams, I would want to be a sleepwalker. The lead didn't manage to solve his problem, but at least he's more proactive than I am. We're both cowards really.
Is it a problem that I identify with people who suffer from the same character weaknesses and that I am drawn to them as a result? Not just anyone with the same weaknesses of course, but someone attractive who shares my weakness. A tragic hero. I love it when things are juxtaposed. Being able to accept a weakness and turn it into something attractive is probably the wrong way to go about it. But we need our flaws to make us more human, more loveable. A perfect person isn't real. And so I will carry on with my misguided ways. Because tonight I am a defensive insomniac.
I wonder if it has anything to do with getting older. An older person explained how he didn't need as much sleep as he aged when we marvelled at how he seemed to always be working. I have a friend who ocassionally suffers from insomnia. She thinks that deep down inside, something is bothering me. While I am bothered by a few things recently, I doubt that they are keeping me up 4 days out of a week. I could of course be totally wrong about this. Perhaps I am truly disturbed by recent events.
It is tragic that I have to think about sleep these days. Clearly, it's not something one should think about. One could appreciate being able to fall asleep and waking up refreshed, but when you can't actually sleep well, good sleep becomes something akin to a gift, a miracle. Something beautiful, surreal, not totally unattainable but rare.
Intrigued by the title (and other things), I watched the Science of Sleep recently. It's a beautiful movie, best watched by the silly romantic who is incapable of living normally. Because I identify with the childish and adorable lead, I thought the movie was touching and poignant. A more pragmatic person thinks that the lead is crazy and needs to be locked up. If only I could solve my problems in my dreams, I would want to be a sleepwalker. The lead didn't manage to solve his problem, but at least he's more proactive than I am. We're both cowards really.
Is it a problem that I identify with people who suffer from the same character weaknesses and that I am drawn to them as a result? Not just anyone with the same weaknesses of course, but someone attractive who shares my weakness. A tragic hero. I love it when things are juxtaposed. Being able to accept a weakness and turn it into something attractive is probably the wrong way to go about it. But we need our flaws to make us more human, more loveable. A perfect person isn't real. And so I will carry on with my misguided ways. Because tonight I am a defensive insomniac.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)