circumstances and free will

I was going to write about how habits can change so easily -- I'm talking about how I have somehow adapted to not having a computer at home this past 3 weeks, and how I'm trying to minimize my use of the computer when I'm home these days. I find that I actually have more time to do things if I didn't try to multitask, like surf while reading. Then I distracted myself for a bit reading the New York Times, and came across this little line about love. "Love is always a combination of need, desire, compatibility and convenience that converge at any given moment." (Dust to Dust: An Affair Post 9/11, Aug 27, 2006, Nikki Stern) I think it's one of the best definitions of love I've ever seen. If you take away the part about compatibility, we could be talking about habits.

It might be a futile exercise, trying to break down my habits and past loves and try to understand them as parts of their more elemental components (I'm not sure if those 4 headings fully capture the most basic elements). But it's important to recognize that there is a part of the equation that takes into account convenience. Yes, I think that is what struck me. The admission that love, great as it is, is also circumstantial. To me, that means that love isn't really as great as it is.

It's what I've always been afraid of -- what if I had a say in picking my parents? Would I choose the same people? Do I truly love my family, or is it all circumstantial? And exactly what is so bad about a love being made up of, at least in part, by circumstances? I hate the idea that free will isn't enough. I can't explain why it is important that choices were made, and not thrust upon us. I like to think that we are free and responsible people. That we are not certainly troubles me. Because we are human, not animals, to paraphrase Dune.

I admire it when a person is able to walk away from temptation. It is then that circumstances don't matter. He can then say that he's above it, that he is one step closer to God.

Who is Dani California?

I stumbled upon a mystery yesterday -- who is Dani California? Yes, I know that you know the answer: she's the girl in the song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I only just realized that yesterday. For about a week, I kept hearing the song over the radio, and the only words I really heard were "California rest in peace". I thought it was political. You know, like the great state of California. I had to see the lyrics but typing in "Dani California" into Google, I saw that there was a wikipedia page on it. So I read it.

It seems that Ms. Dani California has a history. She was maybe twice referred to, by name in "By the Way", and possibly an indirect reference in "Californication" as the "teenage bride with the baby inside". According to Wikipedia, the lyricist Kiedis has explained that Dani "embodies all the women from his past relationships". I don't follow the Chili Peppers music too religiously, so I don't know if Dani has existed before 2002, or even 1999. Her sudden appearance is interesting. People don't just appear, if you know what I mean. I don't know if she really was a "teenage bride" -- Kiedis dates high profile women. If he did keep picking "teenage brides", I must say that he has some strange taste.

Ah yes, the things I wonder about when I don't have a computer to keep me company at night.

While we are on the subject of music still, have you ever heard of Intelligent Dance music? I really like the genre, and it's not because it's called Intelligent Dance music. I must say that it's a great-sounding name though. I'm putting in a plug for the latest single from Death Cab for Cutie, "I'll follow you into the dark". You know the song will be a hit when it starts off with "Love of mine, someday you will die..." It's the sweetest song ever. The other group that I really like in this genre is the Postal Service, but let's listen to Death Cab for Cutie for now.

I can't wait to get my computer back so that I can start blogging in the comfort of my own room. You must have seen videos about how the internet is for porn. I think blogging is like porn - best enjoyed privately. How is your week coming along?

all I want from Berkeley

Things haven't exactly been great the past 2 weeks, what's with my hand injury and my hard disk crashing. The one silver lining in the dark dark clouds is that the only radio station I like in the world (for now at least) is finally streaming online. Here's a link to their website: Live105. They are an alternative radio station based in San Francisco and it's slightly nostalgic listening to them. I am reminded of the times I was driving around on lazy weekends back in Berkeley. These days, they seem to mock me -- It's a blazing 76F in San Francisco. Temperatures were hitting triple digits here last week. It's nice to know that there is a cooler place on earth to be in. My consolation is that I am at least keeping current with the latest music after being out of the scene for a year.

If you do listen to Live105, listen out for the ad by the Shane Company. You'll recognize it easily by the signature monotonous male voice, Mr John (I think) Shane. The company is in Cupertino, San Mateo, Novato and Walnut Creek. They don't play that ad often, but if you do hear it, you'll understand why it's such a great ad. So now like me, you too will have a friend in the diamond business.

The one rock station I listen to here in Boston is incredibly rude to their listeners. "I wonder how fat people cope with the heat." Live105 does rude stuff as well, but in a much more refined and constructive way. This weekend, they are giving out tickets to a performance by a Jewish performer. The ad for the give-away recommends that Mel Gibson calls in for his free ticket to get to know Jewish people better. Since Mel Gibson is probably too busy to call in for his ticket, other listeners can call in after 5 minutes to claim the unclaimed ticket. There we go, public service!

I don't remember any other special weekend (even though they have something pretty often) except for the Pride parade of 2004. Live105 was "all gay all day" that weekend, and they played a lot of Madonna. Ah...nothing like a community-based radio station in touch with their listeners. How that Boston radio station survives making fun of every single type of listener beats me. I'm not quite getting the East Coast humor.

Next on the list of things I want from Berkeley -- the Berkeley Bowl.