I'm still alive

You probably know that, but I thought to be considerate and let you know anyway.

I was supposed to be in California last week, but I cancelled that trip and it wasn't a bad decision. I got to see the 4th of July fireworks in Boston -- which are the best I have ever seen if I may add -- and I got to attend a wedding. I didn't cancel my trip to do those things, but they happened.

Growing up, I've always thought that weddings were huge formal events with no hint of romance to them. It was probably impossible to feel anything for people you don't know. I liked attending weddings though because there was always a feast. Oh, the innocent joys of childhood.

The wedding I was at on Friday was a simple civil ceremony. There was no rehearsal, and the City Hall official presiding over the affair couldn't get my friend's name right, so he stumbled while repeating the words because he couldn't figure out what she was saying. My friend looked dashing and nervous, and when someone made a mistake, we all giggled. And the ceremony continued.

There was no official photographer -- I brought my camera along so I tried my best. I didn't know where the boundaries were, or if I was going to disturb the ceremony, but the kind City Hall official told me to go ahead. When the couple finally exchanged rings, she turned around and said that there will be a slight pause while she rearranges the couple so that people with cameras can get that important picture with the couple, the bouquet and the rings on their fingers. It was all unplanned, but very real. There was more goodwill towards the couple in that room of 20 people than in the huge ballroom of 200 people of my childhood. I think. Maybe I think wrongly.

Outside the City Hall, the bride tossed her bouquet and hit me squarely in my right shoulder. I wasn't paying attention and I flinched and the bouquet fell to the ground. Peter said that he had never seen that reaction before. Thus the bride had to throw her bouquet again, and this time, I didn't get it. Whew.

Not that I don't want to get married mind you. Seeing the people around me getting married and having children these past few years has made me realize my own mortality. My cousin once confessed that he didn't think that I was quite human. Dear cousin is quite wrong. I feel too. Tired, happy, sad, alive.